Real

I'm still processing our trip last week. Things keep coming to mind… a handful of moments I've replayed over, and over, and over again already. Some whose significance I didn't realize until much later. At least one instance where I said something completely innocuous, but which carried ridiculous amounts of subtext… and wondering if your response was also so laden.

But one thing I keep coming back to, the one idea that may be the most important thing for me from the entire experience… Getting to spend that time with you…

It made you more real.

I won't lie, I do keep you on a bit of a pedestal. I already think the world of you. And, while sometimes I surprise myself by how well I know you… I don't, actually, know you all that well at all. So there's always some fear… some chance that maybe I've got you wrong.

That's still a possibility, but…

Just by being in your presence for so much time… some of my ideas about you were confirmed. One or two of them were refuted.

But even with the things I was wrong about… the reality? The real you? Is so much better.

I'm finding that there are few things I enjoy more than being able to refine my mental sketch of you. Erasing a bit here… tracing in a few more lines there… always working towards capturing you… the real you, every aspect, every tiny little corner of your personality. A project of a lifetime, because you are always growing, changing, the most perfect of moving targets.

I want to spend my lifetime working on that sketch of you.

All of those little moments… they were amazing. I hope we have so many more of them in the future. But the best part, the thing I will always come back to…

Is you. Becoming real.

I love you.